Friday, November 03, 2006

Blind Vice

DON doesn't watch much Oprah, help me out on these guesses!

Is it the upcoming holiday season, or is our lovely assortment of trim-waisted (and closeted) H-town fruitcakes getting increasingly mistletoe-ready in public 'cause they're getting closer and closer to officially coming out? (As if anybody left in the free world doesn't friggin' know who these cavorting fagolas are.) First off, our fave, and top tumescent dawg, Toothy Tile:T2 was just caught at a fancy-ass New Yawk restaurant playing footsie with the b-f underneath the table. Right in front of Tooth's 'rents! And the busboys!

Tooth-doll, makes sense, as I hear you're getting thisclose to superdomesticating things with your most benevolently forgiving man. What, getting tired of the doin'-it-in-the-parking-lot scene, T-man? Regardless, congrats! Even more daring would be Renaldo Rim-Me, who's now holding hands with his main hombre in myriad Starbucks and quasi-posh dance clubs across the nation. What-ev. But really, the more intriguing of our on-the-edge homo report this week involves Matinee Mooner, who's about as discreet with his homosexuality as Star Jones Reynolds is with her temper.

Yet in between screwing his latest male conquest in myriad semipublic locales (takes after Toothy, this one), Mr. Mooner took time out to plug his almost heady career, stopping over for a little couch chat with Oprah, and seduced her so in the process. Not on camera (or behind), mind you, M2 just sorta got his pearlie jobs all sparkling fer the talented broad, and it was no secret Ms. O. was rather smitten. Must explain why, then, some important members of O.'s team subsequently made it quite plain to a visiting friend of theirs, a little later on, that Matinee was, like, "so gay." This announcement by the big O.'s pro campers came right after their innocent little amiga proclaimed her smitten-ness for M.M. Jeez, Moon-babe. When the nation's most powerful boob-tube movers 'n' shakers are busy spreading your boy-on-boy biz, I'd say that 9-to-5 gig of yours might be coming to a halt. Or at least a bit o' a slow down. Just a hunch, nothing more. Have fun, all you handsome horn dogs!

And it ain't: Leonard DiCaprio; Will Smith; Wilmer Valderamma.

Dunzo: Chris Rock & Wife


There's nothing like the holidays to cause a few fights! Chris Rock has begun divorce proceedings against his wife of nearly 10 years, Malaak Compton-Rock. The couple married in November of 1996 and have two daughters, 4 year old Lola and 2 year old Zahra. Malaak is the Founder and Executive Director of StyleWORKS, a non-profit, full-service salon that provides makeovers to women getting off welfare and into the working world.

Chris is currently wrapping up his latest film, ironically titled, "I Think I Love My Wife."

EMAs: Who Looked Worse?

Juliette Lewis
Pharrell

Just Another Day with Kanye


Kanye West lost his shizz when his video "Touch the Sky" wasn't chosen for 'Best Video' at the European Music Awards last night. His reaction was typical Kanye: he climbed on stage as winners were collecting their awards and said, "F*ck dis! (My video) cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it, I was jumping across canyons and sh*t! If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility. Nothing against you (the winners), but hell man."

After the show he told the world's media he was upset because he had "the best video. I haven't seen (the winning video). Possibly it could have been quite good but no way better than 'Touch The Sky'. That is complete bullsh*t, I paid a million. Obviously it's not all about the money, but the response it got transcended everything, it really made great TV. It took a month to film; I stood on a mountain; I flew a heliocopter over Vegas. I did it to be the king of all videos and I wanted to walk home with that award."

The host, Justin Timberlake, responded to the outburst by saying, "After the show, Kanye will be in the parking lot accepting awards he did not win. Seriously though, I've got sexy covered, it's good to see someone's doing crazy." LOL!

The Movie?


OK! magazine reports that a studio source has confirmed that the long-postponed Sex and the City movie is closer to becoming a reality after "substantial negotiations have opened with each of the stars' teams this week". According to the studio insider, "Obviously, there is still a lot to be worked out contractually, but it would be amazing to get this project off the ground."

I liked SATC as much as the next person, but personally I'm over it. What about you guys?

Original Penguin

The Original Penguin store had an opening last night that drew out all kinds of randoms. James Franco, attended, as did Paris, Brent Bolthouse, Ben MacKenzie, Haylie Duff, and Stacy Keibler.


Don's Deranged Dream









As you know, I have dreams in which I interact with celebrities every single night. Sometimes I feel the need to share these.

Last night I dreamt I was basically Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy. I had to choose between Patrick Dempsey and, for some inexplicable reason, Davis, the confused gay guy from Real World Denver. I kept saying, "But you're gay? How is this an issue?" And he kept being like, "Yeah, but McDreamy's kind of old."

In the end, much like the show, I went with McDreamy, only to have him tell me he needed some time to be alone. So me and my gay best friend Davis went on a cruise with all our friends and my alarm went off.

I'm so messed up.

Where in the World is LiLo?


Shopping at Agent Provocateur in Hollywood. She picked up loads of new undies during her shopping spree.

And that's your hard-hitting news story of the day.












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Aiming a Bit High


On the set of their movie, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Adam Sandler and Kevin James show off their dream dudes. At least they have good taste! This movie is going to be awesome...










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Like a Moth to the Flame


Salma Hayek escorts her girlfriend Penelope Cruz to the AFI Fest's tribute to Mothface for her work in Volver. Could she be more mothlike in that flowy white dress? I think not.








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Birthday Shout-Out!

Happy birthday to Grace! Here's a picture from Grace's recent wedding in New Zealand. Technically today is her birthday here, so that's when I'm shouting out. Have a good one, Gra, and I can't wait to celebrate your marriage in Vegas come January!

Celeb Spotting

So here's a pic from Hilary Duff's birthday party that shows a lovely cake made by my friend Logan and that's Tall (Chicken Noodle Soup) holding the cake. Logan owns Buttercake Bakery here in L.A. and is nice enough to cook food for Lizzie and I pretty much every weekend.

En route to Mexico yesterday, Logan texted to say Sandra Bullock was at LAX and Lance Bass was traveling with ex-girlfriend Danielle Fishel (aka Topanga from "Boy Meets World") to Mexico as well. Interesting...

Thursday, November 02, 2006

CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

I was at Logan's parents house a few weeks ago for a hungover Sunday and their friend Tall (who btw works with Benji and Joel Madden)was singing this song and cracking us up. Found the dance moves that go with this song and let me tell you I can't get this song outta my head. Love it! Pass me a drink and I'll do the dance for you, too.

Shanna Moakler responds to Travis' Blog

DON says: Honestly, I couldn't even read through this whole thing because it reeks of self-pity and dishonesty, but I thought I'd let the debate role on.

Current mood: angry

First and foremost, I find playing a seperation out in the public arena not only immature, but quite frankly in poor taste, BUT I feel I have to stand up for myself at this point. Airing dirty laundry is not a hard task, it doesn't take any skill on putting your ex's personal business or faults out in the public. It doesnt take a lot of skill to LIE to make others look bad. I do not conveniently and for my best interest edit and leave huge parts of the stories out. I have since tried to take the high road and turn the other cheek even when my soon to be ex was verbally bashing me on the Internet, in the media and flaunting his spiteful and vindictive relationships in my face. I am NOT the one running around the world with the town drug obsessed clown who is the epitome of everything I claim I am NOT! I have been forced to defend myself, my character and my morals and values all the while still not putting my ex on blast. Travis has made our marriage and all that we stood for a joke at this point with his actions and creative story telling and I will find it very hard to ever forgive him. I have no problems going to Vegas and celebrating a day that wasn't the end of my life, but the beginning, beside being mentally and verbally abused in my marriage, I sat home alone ignored and disrespected and I still wasn't the one who left because I took my vows seriously and they actually meant something to me! This is not a new concept, infact this has nothing to do with me having a party in Vegas at all and my ex knows that. I will not after this day spend another ounce of energy defending myself to a camp of people whose motives are to LIE and knock others down when they find happiness. At the end of the day, I have had many accomplishments BEFORE my marriage and I'll have many more after, I moved to california to become an actress when I was 19! I've worked hard, I feel blessed to have the opportunities that I have and I don't feel an ounce of guilt for taking them. I'm sorry that my ex feels I am beneath him as a person, as a woman and that I am not worthy of him and his band of flunkys, I guess i will have to live with that.

The Sweet Escape

Here is what is rumored to be Gwen Stefani's album cover for her soon-to-be-released album. Not gonna lie, "Wind it Up" is growing on me. I moved it to my current playlist on my iPod to give it a fair chance and if she is good for anything, it's a song that gets stuck in your head.

Hilary's Blog


I just spent my first week on the set of the new movie I am in called 'War, Inc.' It was so cool. Other actors starring in the movie are John Cusack, his sister Joan Cusack, Marisa Tomei and Sir Ben Kingsley. We are filming in Bulgaria which is near Turkey, Romania and the Black Sea. The food is different but fresh. They really love salads! Salad with tomato, cucumber and feta cheese, called a Shopska salad, seems to be their favorite. I like it a lot because, since Bulgaria doesn't use pesticides, their vegetables are super fresh. In America, an apple can last a week because of preservatives and pesticides, but in Bulgaria, after a day or two, it will be old. I have about four more weeks of filming. It's winter and soooo cold here. Gotta go, I'll see u soon.

It's About Time


Beverly Hills 90210: The Complete First Season packs 22 episodes into a six-disc set that includes behind-the-scenes footage and commentary by series creator Darren Star. Melrose Place: The Complete First Season is an eight-disc set containing 32 episodes and featurettes on each of the residents of trendy Melrose Place.

The DVD collections will be released Tuesday.

90210 was a staple in the sorority house. We'd sit in the "date room" at lunch to watch reruns and growl at anybody who tried to come in who wasn't pre-approved for nine-oh lunches. Yeah, we were bitches, but we learned from the masters. Thank you, Brenda!

Bump Watch: Julio Iglesias' Girlfriend


Julio Iglesias, 63, is having a baby with his longtime girlfriend, Miranda Rijnsburger, 41. This is their 5th child together and the 8th child for Julio.

Congrats and hopefully he'll look like Enrique! If somebody has to have that many children, I'd rather it be Julio than Flava Flav, you know?




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Little Ant and Dec Interview Victoria Beckham

More from these two budding journalists.

Little Ant and Dec Interview George Clooney

This is great. It reminds me why I was so in love with George back at 18.

Back in the Day: Patrick Dempsey



Here's a nice pic of Patrick Dempsey at 21 with his ex-wife/ex-manager, Rocky Parker at 48. She recently claimed that he beat her up on the set of Can't Buy Me Love, then retracted the statement. I'm sure it was just a combination of dementia and lack of things to do at the nursing home.

BTW, who has seen Loverboy? Never will Patrick Dempsey be finer than as a prostitute pizza delivery boy. That was my absolute favorite movie when I was in elementary school...how scary is that?

WTF: Jessica Simpson, Part 2

The more pictures I find of her, the more shocked I am. Where is Ken Paves? Where is her stylist? Where are her looks??? Hell, even Papa Joe puts her in better clothes. Somebody help her!

DON's Deep Thoughts



How can Justin Timberlake justify robbing me blind to attend his concert? Riddle me that. I mean, I just want to spend my birthday with him, is that too much to ask?

Real World Denver: Jenn



Jenn from Martinez, California, a Raiderette, studying psychology at Diablo Valley College, has worked as an independent make-up artist, has taught dance at some East Bay, Calif. dance studios, choreographed high school/Pop Warner cheerleading competition routines, enjoys kickboxing and working out.

Ok, who caught the preview night last night? I could have died when she said the best bar in the world is Crogan's in Walnut Creek! What a piece of trash!

This season looks way better than the last few. I'm excited for them to bring it back Rocky Mountain style.

Kirstie does Oprah


Kirstie Alley will pose in her bikini on Monday's Oprah Winfrey Show, almost a year to the day after she first promised she would. Last November, after losing 55 pounds she said, "You know how I said every 15 pounds I have to challenge myself? … I'm thinking this would be a really good challenge. If I don't make it, I'm really sorry. You can all come over to my house and see me in a bikini. But I think that would be a grand challenge. I'd like to prove to myself and maybe other women my age that there can still be good years ahead of us. Maybe even the best." LOL! She's only 55. I wish my mom was reading this--she knows that she's fabulous every day of the week.

In her blog on the Jenny Craig Web site, she wrote about how she used to be a competitive swimmer and how her kids "are always in the pool or the ocean or some lake beckoning me to come in," and she was afraid paparazzi would snap an unflattering shot of her. "The most important reason I want to wear a bikini on Oprah, however, is because if I, a 55-year-old woman, can look even halfway decent, imagine how all of you could look in a bikini. Hell, I'll never look like Giselle, I never did! But maybe close to Bridget Jones or a Dove girl or something that is just fine and healthy and happy, with no surgery, no lipo and no drugs – that's saying something!" She also writes that she's been working hard to get in shape for her bikini debut. "I'm walking vigorously (hiking) every morning for one hour on these big ole hills by my house. Then I try to get in an afternoon workout of weights, circuit, pilates or yoga. The a.m. thing is like clockwork, the afternoons are hit and miss. But that's my goal this week: two times a day for five days a week until I do the show."

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WTF: Jessica Simpson



Seriously? Seriously?!?!

Here's Jessica out shopping on Tuesday. Remember one short year ago when she was married, funny, glamorous, and America's sweetheart? Me neither.

Ever the Angel


Sharon Stone was supposed to be honored at a benefit in Santa Monica last Saturday for the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation. She was to auction off a custom Barbie doll that was made by Mattel in her image. Reportedly, Sharon lost it when she saw the doll. To me, this means the doll was completely life-like and therefore terrifying.

She refused to attend the benefit, choosing the Carousel of Hope ball instead. Her rep, Cindi Berger, said, "That is absolutely correct. The doll didn't look anything like her."

First, who would want a scary-ass Sharon Stone Barbie doll? Second, what a snatch!

Celebs on the Go


Victoria Beckham spent some time shopping after promoting her new style book in London. I wonder what she could have to say that would fill an entire book. I could write the Cliff's Notes in two seconds: "Don't eat, you'll look better. Always show off your legs in short skirts. Wear extensions until you start balding, then cut your hair into a chic bob and pretend you wanted it that way. Marry a hot guy; that's your best accessory. And with sunglasses, size always matters."

Jessica Alba is in Canada enjoying some time with her two favorite things: her dog and her boyfriend. More pics at The Puparazzi.

Kate Bosworth is in Australia on a media tour. My doesn't she look healthy? I thought people were supposed to get fat after a traumatic break-up?

Travis Barker on Shanna's "Divorce Party"

I GOTTA COMMENT ON THIS FLYER….Current mood: surprised

SOMEBODY SENT A MESSAGE AND A FLYER WAS ATTATCHED posted below SHANNA IS HAVING A DIVORCE PARTY FOR HERSELF IN CELEBRATION OF OUR FAILED MARRIAGE APPARENTLY….. THIS IS THE SAME WIFE THAT EMAILED ME TO TELL ME SHE WOULD BE SLEEPING WITH HER NEW BOYFRIEND IN MY BED THE DAY OF OUR ANNIVERSARY 2 DAYS AGO SO THIS DOESN’T COME AS A SHOCK. AND THE SAME PERSON WHO IS MAKING “I LOVE SHANNA” SHIRTS FOR PEOPLE TO BUY, IN SUPPORT OF ALL THIS AND PLAYING THE VICTIM, IT SADDENS ME PEOPLE AND EVEN BRINGS ON THE URGE TO PUKE, HOPE IT DOES YOU AS WELL. IM GONNA SAY A LONG PRAYER FOR HER, SHE NEEDS IT. THERE ISN’T A PART OF SHANNA AND I AND THE FACT OUR MARRIAGE FAILED THAT I COULD BE CELEBRATING OR HAPPY ABOUT EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS TIME IT WAS OUR FAMILY…IT WAS ALL WE HAD……I MEAN A PARTY??? WHAT DOESN’T KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER:) GOODNIGHT AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH U….STAR WARS IS ON AND THIS IS NOW IN THE PAST. HOPE SHANNA’S PARTY IS EVERYTHING SHE COULD HOPE 4.

AFI Fest


The AFI Fest opened last night here in Hollywood and a bunch of stars came out. Bobby was screened, so LiLo was there to work the media, as was her co-star Demi Moore. Ali Larter attended and I'm so happy that her show Heros is doing well because I think she's awesome, not to mention stunning. Look at her outfit and then look at Lindsay's piece of trash. It looks like she left it hanging in a room filled with angry cats!


When You're a Moth, You're a Moth All the Way



Penelope Cruz just can't win with DON. I mean, really, a guido tuxedo? Denim on denim is nobody's friend. Unless she just stepped straight out of a Gap poster, this is unforgivable.

Mmm Bopping Again



I know, you're like, "DON, who in their right mind listens to Hanson?" I mean, what kind of giant loser is a fan of a Christian boy band from Oklahoma? I wouldn't know...

But here's some new promo pics from the all grown up and all married group. They are currently hard at work finishing up their next pop album, sure to get stuck in your head all day long.

Hey, it's Lucy Liu!


I know how much Colls loves Lucy Liu, so this one is for her. Lucy has been off the radar for awhile, but has several films in the works, one in which she is reportedly doing some full frontal work. Looks like somebody is coming back with a bang!

En Fuego


J.Lo finally brought it back when she sported this red hot number while out with her Gremlin. It's like he tries to accentuate his awkwardness. He looks like Ron Burgandy. As for Jennifer, I forget how lovely she can look when not draped in hairy dead carcass.

Fug Happens

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's clothes are the fugliest of all? Remember, we are voting on just the clothes here, otherwise Heather Graham would be wearing her tiara already.

Where in the World is LiLo?

Leaving AA? Lindsay walked around sporting a chip that says 90 days, which could completely be a PR stunt or could be a joke.

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