Where in the World is LiLo?

In L.A. She's playing her cards right by staying active and public instead of hiding and acting depressed about her recent dumping. Yesterday she ate at the Ivy, where she was sure to be noticed. Chin up, Lindsay! You'll find somebody who can keep up with you soon enough.

PS DON won't be posting tomorrow. Lo siento and have a fantastic weekend. And lovely wedding wishes to my dear friend Grace Moore far away in New Zealand. I can't wait to celebrate with you!





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Cirque du Pink

Pink experiments in lesbian acrobatics during the opening night of her I'm Not Dead tour. She kicked off the show in Zurich, Switzerland yesterday.


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Skinny TomKat

Katie Holmes shows off her slim new bod while dining at CUT, Wolfgang Puck’s steakhouse at the Beverly Regent in Beverly Hills with Tom.

I'm not sure what they are mourning, but they wear black all the time! Maybe the loss of Katie's soul, self-respect, career...





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La Familia Gyllenhaal

The whole Gyllenhaal clan went shopping together in SoHo. Mom and Dad, Maggie, Jake, and Jake's godmother, Jamie Lee Curtis.


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Gwen for Dynasty

Gwen Stefani stepped out on the town in London with her husband Gavin Rossdale.

Doesn't it look like she is playing dress up in her mom's 1982 formal wear? Maybe she's gunning for a part in Dynasty: The Movie.



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Hilary Supports a Little Nip/Tuck

Hilary Duff has defended stars who have plastic surgery, admitting that she would also go under the knife if she ever felt it necessary. "I don't have anything against people who have surgery. If I get older and feel uncomfortable about something then maybe I will have it. I never say never."

Why this surprises people is beyond me. For a girl who implanted Mr. Ed's chompers in her mouth, I'm sure ruling out surgery is unlikely.




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Flying in Style

Rachel Bilson arrives at LAX looking simple and stylish. She has about a month to go until the premiere of the new season of The O.C. If Mischa Barton was too big for the show, then I'll bet Rachel will be dunzo with this by the end of the year.

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Pigs Are Flying

And Kirsten Dunst looks fantastic! Somebody finally convinced her to try to look pretty for once and it actually worked! Here she is at the New York premiere of Marie Antoinette. Get this girl some braces and we have something here.

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Pick Your Favorite Claymate

The choice is yours. Who is the weirdest? Crazy spinsters with homemade Clay purses who tend to date confused gay men and believe they can change them, but then cry when they can't.
The guy who knows the truth about Clay, but who is, unbelievably, too unattractive for even for Clay to love. He might have better luck as a lesbian.

The girl who still owns Puffy Paint and uses it to make a shirt that says, "Clay shakes my ovaries a thousand different ways." She owns a pillow with Clay's picture taped to the front which she makes out with every night.

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Off the Market: Jaime Pressly

Jaime Pressly and her boyfriend of one year, Eric Cubiche, a DJ, are engaged. The couple were friends for eight years before they started to date.

Jaime said they are going to XIV Karats in Beverly Hills to design her engagement ring this weekend. Sweet Lord, if you remember her "fashion show" earlier this year of lingerie, I can only imagine what atrocious creation she will dream up. It will probably have feathers dangling off it and a chain that connects the ring to a matching bracelet.




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Rachel for Chicago Social Magazine

Rachel Bilson has been knocking it out of the park with her magazine spreads lately. She is stepping up in the Hollywood game; hope she doesn't leave Adam behind. Who's seen her new movie??







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Hot Couple of the Minute: Selma and Johnny

Selma Blair got her smooch on with her former co-star in the 2002 comedy The Sweetest Thing, Johnny Messner at Chateau Marmont on Sunday. She filed for divorce from Ahmet Zappa in June, but has been seen around town with him, causing speculation as to whether a reconciliation was in the works. Guess not!









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Hot Couple of the Minute: Kate and James

Kate Bosworth gets lovey dovey with her new boy-toy, model James Rousseau, 25. She recently split with her very long time boyfriend, Orlando Bloom, and has been criticized for losing enough weight to draw attention off NicRic.








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Spicing Up Congress

Ricky Martin spoke to Congress regarding human trafficking.

He spoke to the House International Relations Committee about an initiative he developed to fight human trafficking through his Ricky Martin Foundation when he saw three Indian girls living on the street.

He said he remembered thinking the girls were "maybe days away from being sold into prostitution." He would prefer them to live a vida less loca where they only shook their bon-bons when they felt like it.





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TomKat Acting Natural

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong, can you tell which thing is not like the others by the time I finish this song?

TomKat soccer game checklist:

Constant touching
Inappropriate clothing
Sunglasses for faking intense concentration
Unwilling and awkward daughter

They're prepared!

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Who Stole the Red Fro?

Can you even believe this is Jon Heder aka Napoleon Dynamite?? Or Billy Bob Thorton, for that matter? Practically unrecognizable!

T.O. Not Suicidal

Dallas Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens said Wednesday that he did not try to commit suicide by overdosing on pain medication. Owens was hospitalized Tuesday night because of a bad reaction after mixing pain meds with supplements. His publicist found him non-responsive and called 911. She claims she never said he was depressed or suicidal. He says he feels much better and hopes to play on Sunday.

Dunzo: Harry and LiLo

Harry Morton, 25, spoke with Extra about his split with LiLo.

"We're just sort of taking a little breather right now and slowing things down. A lot of people started saying we're engaged. It put a lot of pressure on things. … We need a little space. The media getting involved always makes it more difficult. I'm a very private person. I'm sure she has dealt with it for years, (but it) puts a lot of pressure on me."

I love it when "private" people go straight to the cheesiest trash show to discuss their recent breakup. Nice work, Harry!

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Drug Combo Killed Daniel

The death of Anna Nicole Smith's 20-year-old son Daniel was caused by a lethal combination of methadone, Zoloft and Lexapro, which caused the cardiac dysrhythmia that led to Daniel's death. It is assumed that Daniel had no idea the combination would be fatal. While there were questions as to why he was taking methadone, frequently used with heroin addicts, the coroner stated that it is also used when dealing with highly depressed people like Daniel.

Damn, the Scientologists are going to have a field day with this.



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A Thousand Apologies

DON was hit by a bad driver making an illegal left turn and has been dealing with the struggles of insurance, auto body shops, and the urgent need of a rental car. Frustrations!! So I was stuck at home without a car today and the internet went down...it sucked! Posting shall resume now.

Stir-craziness and bad tv,
DON

Battle of the Metro Babes!

Cristiano Ronaldo, a star footballer for Manchester United, drops some of his cash at the Louis Vuitton store. The 21-year-old Portuguese babe may be the hottest thing in soccer. Who do you prefer, Cristiano or long-reigning champ David Beckham?


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Morning Crabcakes: Screech Porn

Dustin Diamond aka Screech Powers from Saved By the Bell is joining the ranks of celebrities released porn tapes. If this isn't gross enough, it gets worse. It is reported that the footage includes Screech with two women and one "dirty sanchez".

Roger Paul, Dustin's manager revealed: "I haven't seen the tape. I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings." Famous celebrity porn peddler David Hans Schmidt has acquired the rights to the video and is shopping the hot item to Hustler's Larry Flynt and Steven Hirsh at Vivid.

This story makes me want to curl up under my desk and pretend it never happened. But points to whoever comes up with the best title for the porn.

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Another Tragedy!

Rev Run and his wife Justine have had some sad news. Justine announced she was pregnant on the final episode of their family reality show Run's House and the cameras were with the family yesterday as she went to the hospital to give birth. A baby girl was born via c-section, but tragically had her major organs outside of her body. The baby quickly passed away.

She would have been the third girl and the sixth child in the Run clan. So much sad news lately, DON can't deal!

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Attempted Suicide: Terrell Owens

Dallas Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens tried to kill himself by overdosing on pain medication last night. A friend found him in the middle of his attempted suicide holding an empty pill bottle that came with 40 pills, and Terrell popped two more pills before his friend got control of the situation. Rescue workers asked "if he was attempting to harm himself, at which time (he) stated, 'Yes."'

The Dallas police report said the 32-year-old Owens told his friend "that he was depressed." Police Lt. Rick Watson said during a brief news conference that he could only confirm that paramedics called police to say they were taking Owens to the hospital.

Speedy recovery!

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Bump Watch: Kim Porter

Diddy announced that his twins are both girls to Vibe magazine. "I'm having twin girls. People say, to a so-called ladies' man or whatever, that when you have girls it changes you. So I was like, 'What's God trying to tell me by giving me two girls?' When I pray every morning, I thank God for showing me what he showed me while I still have a chance to enjoy myself."

He also told Vibe he "would love to get married" – but not quite yet. "I didn't grow up around a married family, so it's taking me a bit longer. A lot of guys out there get married, and they still do their own thing. I don't want to get married and fail."

The Shirt is Not My Dress

Ashlee Simpson wore this fedora/blouse combo to a Chicago afterparty. While I have recently praised her as the more stylish Simpson, this really doesn't work at all. I feel like the shirt as a dress thing is just plain laziness and only worked in 1987.





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Angie Lands a Big Role

Angelina Jolie will play Dagney Taggart in Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. This book is reportedly one of the most read books on Earth, up there with the Bible. Brad Pitt is also in talks to play John Galt in the film. This news comes from Daily Variety and I wouldn't happen to know anything more about it...fingers crossed!

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Breaking News; Howard's Anna's Baby Daddy

Howard K. Stern, the lawyer for Anna Nicole Smith, revealed that he's the "proud father" of her baby girl, who was born just days before her 20-year-old son Daniel died in the Bahamas.

Howard has been Anna's closest friend and attorney for many years. He says, "We love each other and it's been going on for a very long time and because of my relationship as her lawyer, we felt it was best to keep everything hidden. And we've done a pretty good job of that." When King asked Stern if he planned to marry Smith, he replied, "I've loved her for quite some time and hopefully the feeling's mutual. At some point, we will. Right now we have to somehow get through what we're going through."

Holy crap! Howard must truly love Anna. He was with her when she was the size of a whale and we all know she's as dumb as they come. I wish them well...and another season of reality tv.

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Steven Tyler has the Hep

Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler has revealed that he was diagnosed with hepatitis C three years ago, and recently went through 11 months of treatment. "I've had hepatitis C for a long time, asymptomatic," Tyler tells Access Hollywood in a new interview set to air Tuesday. "And I talked to my doctor ... and he said now is the time and it's 11 months of chemotherapy. So I went on that and it about killed me." Tyler, 58, says he's much better after undergoing the treatment. "It is nonexistent in my bloodstream as we speak, so it's one of those few miracles in doctoring where it's like a complete cure," says Tyler.

He joins the fearless ranks with Pamela Anderson in celebrities speaking out about Hep C.

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Equal Opportunity Blogging!

This was posted on Perez's site today:

"What drama queen planted a recent item in Page Six??? Sources tell PerezHilton.com that the fiery star is embarrassed that her boyfriend dumped her and had her camp place the blurb. Additionally, the hot Greek shipping heir who she's most recently been linked to think she's 'pathetic and press hungry,' sources tell us."

He has been posting slanderous remarks three or more times a day for the past week or so about LiLo. Remember when he used to call her his "little Lindsay Morgan Lohan"? That was before he was so far up Paris' ass he couldn't find his way out. DON knows that Lilo is a bit of a mess, but she is way more talented and fun than Paris Hilton!

DON promises to report on all celebs, whether we hate them or not, and not skip out on major stories (like Paris' DUI hearing) in favor of spreading stories about others. For shame!

DUI for Paris

Paris Hilton has been charged with two misdemeanors – driving under the influence and driving with a blood-alcohol level of .08 or higher. She is scheduled for arraignment Thursday at 8:30 a.m. in L.A., but is not required to attend the hearing. The maximum punishment for a first-time DUI is a $1,000 fine and/or six months in jail. Let's guess which she'll pick.

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News in a Flash

Russell Crowe telling reporters he quit an untitled Nicole Kidman-Baz Luhrmann Australian epic last June because he "doesn't do charity work for major studios." Crowe dropped out of another movie earlier this year, Eucalyptus, also set to costar the actress. Maybe his problem is Nicole...

George Clooney waving off speculation that he may some day run for office, telling reporters outside an event aimed at benefiting Darfur, "Believe me, you don't want me in politics."

Dr. Phil McGraw agreeing to settle a $10.8 million class-action lawsuit filed on behalf of thousands of plaintiffs claiming his Shape Up! diet products failed to result in dropped pounds.

Girls Gone Wild mastermind Joe Francis agreeing to fork over $500,000 in plea deal Monday, after pleading guilty to charges of failing to properly document the ages of the coeds in his videos. Score one for the drunken sluts!

Lawyers for Star Jones demanding the National Enquirer print a front page retraction to an Oct. 2 story titled "Star Jones' Husband Walks Out!" in which the tabloid claims Al Reynolds is gay and that the marriage is a sham. Reynolds' reps call the allegations "false and defamatory." Come on, Star, the truth shall set you free!

Janet Jackson telling Oprah Winfrey that she hasn't spoken to Justin Timberlake since the 2004 Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction seen 'round the world, saying he failed to support her and that they'll reconcile "in [her] own time."

The much-hyped third-season premiere of Desperate Housewives racking up lower than expected ratings, averaging 5 million fewer viewers than last season's kickoff.

Spike Lee, Harry Connick Jr. and Branford Marsalis appearing at the New Orleans Superdome Monday night for an NFL game that marked the first time the arena was used since housing refugees from Hurricane Katrina. U2, Green Day and the Goo Goo Dolls also performed for the inaugural event.

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Bump Watch: Tori Spelling?

The rumors are circling again that Tori Spelling is pregnant. She and her husband Dean have been very vocal about wanting kids asap. They took Tori's new cruiser for a spin a few days ago and she certainly looks knocked up.

Here's hoping it's a boy...no girl should have to start life with that genetic combination already dragging her down.

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Ashlee's Big Debut

Ashlee Simpson made her debut in London's Chicago last night. To celebrate, she went out with her big sis, Jessica, to the cast afterparty.

I'm not even going to bother stating the obvious regarding Jessica's appearance. I feel like I'm wasting my time...she's clearly not getting the message.

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