Friday, May 19, 2006
So there isn't much to say or do so Showers and I are exchanging emails between us from 2 years ago when we were young and stupid. Here's probably the weirdest one I sent her:
I know that a lot of people have become engaged recently and I have decided to jump on the band wagon. In these modern times, I figured it would be ok for me to be the one to propose. So I wrote to Adam Brody to ask him to be my beloved.
It went something like this:
Dear Adam Brody fan mail:
"Hi, my name is James (don't worry, I'm a girl) and I'm your biggest fan (by biggest, I don't mean physically the largest, I just mean I think you are the coolest person on earth). I realize that you are currently dating, living with, and probably (but maybe not...fingers crossed!) sleeping with your co-star from the O.C., but I wanted to see if maybe you'd be interested in marrying me instead. If you want, you can move in to my apartment in SF, but I think it would be more fun to live in your mansion in the Hollywood Hills. I also would promise to faithfully watch every episode of the O.C., even when I'd rather be out playing Beirut on Wednesdays. I would be a good wife and go with you to all your parties, premieres, etc. and tell you how cool you are all the time. As for the wedding, my only request is that you invite your co-star from "The Grind" Mike Vogel so my friend Showers can french him. That'd be pretty cool.
So thanks for considering me and let me know as soon as possible so I can stop worrying about being the last singleton in SF."
And it was so romantic, he sent me a yes on official Adam Brody Fan Club stationary, with a poster and pin that says "I heart the O.C." He is sort of too busy to actually take an engagement photo with me, so I just made one so you can picture us as a couple. I'll be registered at Costco and JC Penny's if you want to buy me something.
Adam and James Brody
Things keep going from bad to worse for Charlie Sheen. Here is the latest from Page Six:
IF Denise Richards needs more ammo in her nasty divorce and custody battle with Charlie Sheen, she should talk to the angry young woman who claims she dated and was dumped by the babe-chasing star she met on millionairematch.com.
"He's about as sick as they come," says the aspiring actress in her late 20s, who looks a schoolgirl-ish 18. The Sheen throwaway spoke with Life & Style, which published a clean version of what the unidentified woman said. Here's the unedited rest of it.
"He posed as a talent scout [and] left a message that was, like, 'Hi, this is Mr. Jonze, I'm interested in seeing more pictures of you.' When I called him back, after a few minutes of talking, he told me who he was."We dated for about a month. He's such a [bleep]ing perv. He would ask me to dress up, like, in pigtails and schoolgirl outfits. I don't think he's like a pedophile, but he's definitely into really young girls. You know like 18, 19. I don't doubt that everything his wife is saying now is true. "He was a big talker, and once I asked him if he was this open with all his girlfriends. He said that he was. He said, 'I like to get to know everyone, even pros.' He calls prostitutes pros . . . He would take Viagra every time before sex, which is kind of weird."
Then things went sour. "We dated from early-mid April till just a couple days ago. Then one day, out of the blue, I can't reach him," she fumed. "I call and it's dead air. He didn't even have the decency to break up with me. Basically, he used me." The woman also told the mag that Sheen "absolutely hates Denise. He would call her 'that demon' or say, 'she's the antichrist.'
""Bull[bleep]! It's not true," roared Sheen's publicist Stan Rosenfield. "It's not true . . . Why don't you just lose my number?"
Sheen may also have racist tendencies if John Stamos is to be believed. The actor, who dated Richards after her split, said yesterday on Howard Stern's Sirius radio show that she has tapes of Sheen "calling her the N-word." He added Richards wants Stern to air the tapes and the shock jock said he'd be glad to.
The latest Sheen dirt comes a week after he and Richards agreed to extend a restraining order that forces the actor to stay away from his estranged wife, who says he pushed, shoved and threatened her and her parents. It was extended to July 13 so a shrink can determine custody for the pair's daughters, who Richards says are endangered because of Sheen's love of Internet porn.
Hanging with DJ AM at the launch of Parasuco yesterday. LiLo is still in New York having some fun. DJ AM was there to spin at a nightclub in Queens.
Nothing more has come out about the break-up of AM and NicRic, nor have I heard anything more about LiLo and any of the various men she is said to be linked to these days.
This must be what it's like to be rich. I'll bet Nicole was sitting around her house yesterday going, "Hmm....what to do, what to do...Grab a bite? No, I'm sick of holding a fork so photogs think I eat. Paint some pottery? No, I did that last week with Mischa. Do my boyfriend? Oh, yeah, he dumped me AGAIN. Ugh, what should I do??"
Then the lightbulb. "I'll play dress up! I'm thinking 'Indian princess,' not like Pocahontas, like Bollywood. Then I'll pick up some instruments and be this Indian Princess who is starting her own rock band to prove to her ex-bf and ex-bff how awesome she is. That's hot! Now where's daddy's AmEx?"
Jessica Alba fights back at the photogs. Kidding! She's shooting a scene for her hosting gig for MTV's Movie Awards. I don't really know how she'll pan out as a host, but I'm sure I'll have 15 opportunities to see as we know how much MTV loves to rerun those shows.
Uh oh. Britney isn't seeming too happy these days. I have a sneaking suspicion KFed's allowance will soon be cut off. They have been spending way too much time apart and these words are highly loaded. She's bringing him down quickly.
Reportedly this picture was posted on her website this morning but was quickly removed. Also the following lyrics were posted. Take it in:
"Remembrance of Who I Am"
No more chains that you gave me/Enough of pain now I'm craving/Something sweet, so delight/how do you stand sleeping at night?
Silly patterns that we follow/you pull me in/I'm being swallowed./By the ones you think you love/They pull you down/You can't see up above.
Manipulation is the key/They screw it in/because you are naive
You come to me now/why do you bother?/Remember the Bible/the sins of the Father/What you do/you pass down./No wonder why/I lost my crown.
You don't see me now/You ask yourself why/My crown is back/and it's way too high/for you to be in my presence/especially my son./You should bow down/I've only just begun.
The guilt you fed me/made me weak./The voodoo you did/I couldn't speak.
You're awakening/the phone is ringing./Resurrection of my soul/the fear I'm bringing.
What will you say/And what will you do?/She's not the same person that you're used to.
You trick me once, twice, now it's three./Look who's smiling now/Damn, it's good to be me!
Here are more pics from yesterday right after Brit almost fell. I feel so sad for her. She knows that something as small as a stumble will be front page headlines and people will call Child Services on her. But what is up with her outfit? She barely has any clothes on her back!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Dating service SomeoneJewish.com has polled to see who the hottest Jewish celebrities are. For the chicks, we've got: 1) Rachel Stevens; 2) Caprice Bourret; 3) Rachel Weisz; 4) Gwyneth Paltrow, and; 5) Lisa Loeb.
Now just wait for the dudes: 1) David Schwimmer; 2) Woody Allen; 3) Sacha Baron Cohen; 4) Anthony Costa; and 5) Jeff Goldblum.
Now, who exactly were they polling that Woody Allen is the second hottest Jewish celeb? And I can think of way hotter Jewish guys that didn't make the list. Adam Sandler should be there. Simon Rex should be there. James Franco, Scott Caan, Adam Brody, and Zach Braff should be on there. And, for sure, Eugene Levy.
Poor Brit Brit. I swear, homegirl just can't catch a break. She took a little stumble as she left her NYC hotel and almost dropped poor little SPF on his head. His hat flew off, but nobody fell, perhaps thanks to her super-hunky, Tom Selleck wannabe bodyguard.
But nobody was hurt so let's not bitch and moan about her being a terrible mother. At least she spends time with him, which is more than we can say for KFed. And, look, she's wearing a bra!!
The things I do when I'm bored! I was poring over pics from the Maxim red carpet event and saw one pic of Autumn Reeser, who I think is going places in the Hollywood world. I decided to see what her website looked like and I have to say she is eerily similiar to her uppity character on The O.C.
For example, she discusses how she was in the GATE program in Jr. High, how she was voted Most Attractive in high school, and how she was the captain of her cheerleading squad during her fourth consecutive year of cheering. She brags about how she only applied to one school, UCLA's excellent theater program and was 1 of 50 accepted out of 2,000 applicants. She goes on to discuss winning the "much-sough-after role of Marcia Brady in the third of the Brady Bunch satire films."
She now lives in L.A. with her bf and dog and she loves to scrapbook and throw parties. Let me guess, scrapbook parties? Seriously though, the Gate thing is my favorite. That or talking about being voted Most Attractive. LOL!
Most of the celebrity shots that have surfaced from Cannes have been of stars I'm not very interested in. But here are some that I kinda care for.
Elijah Wood was there with a "guest." She is taller than him, which means she could be around 5'5. He is so impish, I just will never think of him as anything other than a hobbit--I think that's right.
Rachel Leigh Cook was so great back when she did all the teeny-bopper flicks, but has sort of disappeared since then. I really respected her when I found out that hottie Ryan Reynolds tried to get her to date him by flying to her movie set in Ireland forever ago. But I feel she could have done better on the outfit and certainly on the purse.
I loved seeing the pic of Maggie Gyllenhaal and fiance Peter Saarsgard looking polished and happy. She's loving her pregnacy boobs and looks great in this dress. Wish they brought Jake along too!
So it seems that Kristin Cavalleri and Brody Jenner are officially back together. I mean, what is more offical that a photo-op kiss? Here the two are at Joe Francis' birthday party that went down a few days ago.
KCav looks kind of FUBAR no? But I am glad they are back together. They make a cute pair.
Out of the ashes of The WB and UPN rises the phoenix now known as The CW. And, man, did they do some housekeeping. While most of the shows on these networks weren't worth our attention anyways, there are a couple shows I'm very sorry to see go.
Related was a good show, one that I would forget about until I saw it pop up on my Tivo list and then I'd always enjoy it. What I Like About You was the show I sipped cocktails to as I did my makeup to go out on Friday nights. It was my pre-party music. Other shows that got the axe were Pepper Dennis, South Beach, Everwood, The Bedford Diaries, and pretty much the whole TGIF lineup.
Shows that survived the blow are One Tree Hill (yay!), Smallville, ANTM, Everybody Hates Chris, Gilmore Girls, and Beauty and the Geek (seriously??).
OMG, is Brit Brit on my Bay to Breakers team?
Best day of my life!
Actually, she is in NY hitting up Tao with SPF and her assistant. Where the devil is KFed these days? SPF never leaves Britney's side...he's so the new purse dog!
John Stamos was on The Howard Stern Show yesterday and said more than he probably should have.
He admitted that his marriage was over six months before they announced the news, that he briefly dated Denise Richards earlier this year, that he dated Heather Locklear, and that he once found a naked Penthouse Pet waiting in his dressing room. He is currently dating Daniela Urzi, who's photo I posted below (it seems she is some supermodel, maybe German?).
John also said that most women he dates know they're not getting into serious relationships with him, and that once in a blue moon he dates a non-models, but hasn't done so in a while.
He further discussed some gross naked evenings he and Rebecca spent with Howard and Beth, and I really don't want to know any more about that.
Chanel had a fashion show for their 2006/2007 Cruise Collection last night at Grand Central Station in NY. Mischa Barton looked fantastic, but in need of some mystic, while Maria Bello looked like somebody trying to resemble a chic Frenchwoman, but actually looks like the sale bin at Forever 21.
Well, not entirely. Panic! At The Disco has lost their bassist, Brent Wilson, though. Panic! is an up-and-coming group who I've listened to for awhile and they just got their first video airing on MTV now. They formed in 2004 in Las Vegas and were signed by Fall Out Boy, which is a controversy in itself since F.O.B.'s music is loved by consumers and hated by critics--as I'm sure Panic! will be. Anywho, that's the story.
[For my sister, a HUGE Panic! fan]
Source: NME via Pinkisthenewblog
Lindsay Lohan stepped out on the red carpet for a Maxim party at Buddha Bar in NY last night. She was recognized as the #3 hottest celeb by the magazine.
I think she looks great, if perhaps a little tired. She looks so much better now that she is out of the rex club. And I thought I sent out the memo about chipped black polish...is she not paying attention to me?
Rumor has it Lilo was seen making out with Paris' ex, Stavros Niarchos, at Bungalow 8 early yesterday morning. Could be the cause of all the bad blood, no?
Source: Hollywood Rag
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
If you live in San Francisco like me, you know that one of our greatest holidays shall be upon us come Sunday with the running, I mean drunk-walking, of Bay To Breakers.
Our team theme is orange and I think I found the PERFECT race outfit. Scrolldown and don't even think of stealing my idea, bitches...
Tina Fey brings us a brand-new comedy about the behind the scenes of comedy sketch writing (are you paying attention, Carly?). The show, 30 Rock, is named for 30 Rockafeller Plaza where SNL is taped.
Alec Baldwin, an SNL favorite, plays the arrogant head of the network. Tina will play Liz Lemonhead, the head writer of "The Girly Show." Other SNL alums involved are Tracy Morgan as "Tracy Jordan" and Rachel Dratch as "Jenna."
Looks like a winner to me!
Richie Sambora is on the European leg of the Bon Jovi "Have A Nice Day" Tour, where he told reporters to tell his female fans that he is "single and ready to party."
Yet Denise Richards disagrees. Her rep says the two are "still together", that "they talk all of the time," and "they've made plans to meet up."
Richards will board a plane on Friday for Dublin, Ireland, to be with Sambora for his May 20th performance. She will leave her kids at home, presumably not with ex Charlie Sheen.
Speaking of Sheen, both Denise and Charlie are starting their own line of children's clothing. His is called Sheen Kidz, while hers is Kidtoure. Both sound inexplicably lame and shouldn't Charlie refrains from hanging out with little girls, given the recent pedophelia allegations against him? "Here honey, try on these underpants I designed." SICK and WRONG.
In other related news, Heather Locklear and David Spade are said to be dunzo. Heather has been seen out and about with other men and is said to be over the relationship.
LiLo was out in LA recently when she was refused entry in Danny Masterson's jazz night at Guy's. After she was refused entry, LiLo tried calling her ex-bf, Wilmer Valderrama who tried to get her access to the club. But Danny, a devout scientoloonigist, said no way and refused to let her in, saying that he disagreed with the way she lives her life and that (for the record) Paris Hilton would not be admitted either. This coming from the guy who dates the trainwreck and bar brawler that is Bijou Phillips.
Witnesses and line-lingerers say Lohan responded to her rejection by screaming about threatening to call the police, but eventually just leaving. (I find this hard to believe as she is well aware of the crackdown on underage drinking in LA nightclubs.)
15 minutes my ass! She's cooled off a bit after that Nick Lachey thing turned out to be a big hoax, but KCav will not go quietly into the night. Here's some pics from her latest photo shoot.
PS T-minus 2 weeks until The Hillz! Go Team LC!
Mischa Barton took a brief break from hanging out with NicRic to shop with onscreen best friend Rachel Bilson. Mischa seriously looks like a monster next to Bilson...she couldn't be taller.
And neither Marisa nor Summer would ever be caught in such muted tones!
For some inexplicable reason, Paris Hilton has rekindled her friendship with Brandon Davis. Last night they attended Janet Jackson's 40th birthday party and Paris can barely contain her laughter as Brandon rants about LiLo, referring to her as a "firecrotch" that "has freckles coming out of her vagina and her c*** is 7 feet long. I think she's worth about seven million, which means she's really poor. It's disgusting. She lives in a motel."
TMZ, who has the footage, has said that they had to edit it even further to be able to air it.
Ashley Olsen is now officially dating Greg Chait, a nightclub owner in L.A. Nightclub owners are the new That 70's Show cast...every starlets gonna do them.
This guy is nast-o-rama! And who knew the t-shirt dress would come back? I could have saved my 2nd grade wardrobe, sold it to Ashley as vintage and made my fortune!
E! News confirmed that Nicole Richie and DJ AM are officially dunzo for the second time. NicRic's spokeswhore, however, denies the story. I can only imagine how skinny she will get if they break up again. She'll be more invisible than me dancing in the fog at AM's club in Vegas.
Mischa Barton shows off her new brown locks in New York. She's flagging a taxi after dining last night with movie mogul Harvey Weinstein.
In The O.C. news, several endings have been filmed to maintain utmost secrecy as to the storyline. In one version filmed, Mischa's character Marisa Cooper is killed. Hooray! Pick that one!
Another day, another red carpet to walk. Here's LiLo at Entertainment Weekly's Television Upfront party at Manor in New York last night.
I don't get it. Aren't there better things to do or cooler parties to attend? This sounds soooo lame. Boo, LiLo, boo.