UPGRADE!

I as reported earlier, Russell Simmons has split from his Pink Panther Kimora and is widely rumored to be hooking it with 23 year old model Denise Vasi. I went in search of her modeling portfolio and I have to say, she is WAY hotter than that tranny Kimora. I can see how she'd be worth losing like a billion dollars in alimony and community property. But, damn, she's only 23 and he's almost 50! That's just nuts.

Just My Luck

It's Friday afternoon, so naturally my mind wanders to Bree Turner and why hasn't her movie with LiLo come out yet? After some internet research, I have discovered that Just My Luck has been pushed back for a May 12 release date.

I also found out that Bree is now starring in a movie about a mangy firehouse dog that saves the firehouse or something. I think it's a children's movie.

And...it's a slow day.

Becoming Jane

Anne Hathaway is currently filming Becoming Jane, which is based on the life of famous (and my all time favorite) author Jane Austen. Jane had a relationship with a Irish man named Tom Lefroy when she was 20, but his family did not approve of the match as Tom was the oldest in the family and needed to marry someone with more money than Jane's modest family could provide. After their affair ended, Jane went on to write her greatest novel, Pride and Prejudice, based on their love, but in her version Mr. Darcy (aka Lefroy) had enough money of his own as to not need to marry a rich woman. Tre tragic!

WTF: Carmen Electra

Carmen Electra performed some pretty odd moves on Jay Leno. She has also spoken out about how she is taking circus lessons and having an aerial circus hoop installed in her house to do her tricks for her husband while butt naked.

Good for Dave, I guess?

Looking Better...

I'm not really a fan of Keira Knightley. She has pointy teeth and most of her acting consists of her passionately yelling at someone. But she looks nice here. The bob suits her and Mischa would totally steal this outfit and pair it with some Keds.

She's strolling through Rome with her mom, who's looking quite cougarific. Knightley is about to start filming Silk there and is settling in.

Another Toothy Tile?

Vin Diesel pictured at the GAYVN awards in Los Angeles with gay porn star Sebastian Bonnet. I'm sure it was all innocent fun, right?

Where in the World is LiLo?

Partying, for sure! Here she is at Diesel's Young Hollywood Awards Countdown. Other major celebs like Nicky Hilton and Haylie Duff were also in attendance.

News in a Flash

Kimora Simmons rep has confirmed that she is divorcing Russell Simmons. Rumor has it that Russell, 48, has been dating 23 year old model Denise Vasi, pictured here.

Mandy Moore signing on to play a young bride forced to go through pre-nup class conducted by her minister, Robin Williams.

Jenny McCarthy and Patricia Heaton set to star in a new comedy about a widow who finds new friends through her PTA. This should be good, folks.

Mo Pictures, Mo Brit Brit

Britney at Millenium Dance Studio in L.A. where her former choreographer (and rumored hook up which led to her breakup with Justin) Wade Robson instructs. She stopped by and taught a children's hip-hop class.

8th and Ocean Bitches

I have been meaning to report this before I saw it up on the web and have forgotten until it was too late. Damn! So two weeks ago my contacts start killing me and they really haven't stopped since. So I heard a commercial come on while I was getting ready promising the best contacts ever. I look and lo and behold it is Kelly and Sabrina hocking for Acuvue. Of course these are the contacts I use so no big help. But it was interesting to see Sabrina without a pizza face.

Brit Brit Hits Up Will & Grace

If you can't wait until tonight, here is an extensive clip from the show.

Afternoon Delight

That last story was too depressing so I figured we needed something to cheer us up. Enjoy! Yum...Ryan Reynolds.

Dunzo: Matt LeBlanc and Missie McKnight

Matt and Melissa ("Missie") are reportedly filing for divorce by the end of this week. The two were married in Hawaii in 2003 and have a daughter together. Their daughter Marina, 2, has a rare brain disorder that causes seizures and other neurological issues.

Poor Matt. It must be hard having a disabled child. His show Joey, which totally sucked, was cancelled in January, which is when the couple is rumored to have separated. Hopefully the other two Friends bachelors can cheer him up.

Britney in the Bu

Brit Brit and baby SPF head out to a dance studio in Malibu. They popped in the back and were rumored to be making an appearance to raise money for a local school. She's always doing good, that Britney. You think she could have brushed her hair though. And Sean is sure slow on growing hair himself, given how much his dad has.

Celebs being Bad

Naomi Campbell has been arrested once again for assaulting her help. She has twice been charged with throwing phones at her assistants. Her rep released this statement:

"We believe this is a case of retaliation, because Naomi had fired her housekeeper earlier this morning. We are confident the courts will see it the same way."

Gwyneth Paltrow over in NY was spotted drinking Guinness which some think is good for fetuses and some not so much...

Tori is a Vampire!

Photos of the hickey she gave her fiance and the two creepos out at a party for "So NoTORIous," which will for sure make my Tivo Watch segment.

Hot Couple of the Minute: DJ AM and Nicole Richie

Yes, they are back together once again. Here they are vacationing in Mexico, with Nicole sporting new extensions that are thicker than her thigh. He looks like he is cradling a toddler when he holds her.

Where in the World is LiLo?

How I've missed her so! LiLo has been off the radar for awhile and I fearfully wondered if I'd have to replace my Waldo bit with Jessica Simpson. Just in the nick of time, Lilo returns to her second favorite activity of shopping in NYC. Good to have you back, girl!

D.O.N. News

Within the last week, I've been considering ditching this cookie cutter blog format and opting for a website. Wouldn't you know it in just last week somebody formed one site called dayoldnews.com that has NOTHING on it and another person formed dayold.com, posting family photos. Boo! Enough with the nerdery, continue to enjoy the blog.

And if you are reading, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEET! Hope you bring out Betty tonight and do it like we did your 21st in Vietnam--33 cents per Tiger Beer makes for one fuzzy night!

Love Hurts

Richie Sambora recently fell in his home (read: drunken rampage to cope with cruel divorce!) and is recovering in a sling. He should be back performing when Bon Jovi begins their Japan tour in the upcoming months.

He and soon-to-be-ex Heather Locklear strolled together on Sunday before watching their daughter Eva, 8, play softball. Heather looks like she's 23! Hope Eva is as lucky.

Angelina, Gothic Parisian

I am reluctant to post any of the million pics I see of Angelina each week, but once in a while it must be done. I swear the woman won't wear anything other than black, grey, or beige. BORING! Here she is in Paris taking Maddy to a craft store after she attended a maternity yoga class. She has to be the skinniest preggy I've ever seen.

KFed's Birthday Revisited

Britney just emailed me this pic of her and KFed in Vegas for his birthday. She wishes I was there. So does DJ AM and his fog machine. Woot!

Brit Brit is facing some legal battles. One is her songwriters against some Korean pop star who basically covered "Do Something." Another is two former bodyguards who claim they weren't paid overtime.

Dunzo: Kimora & Russell Simmons

Russell Simmons and his assbag wife Kimora are thisclose to a divorce. Rumors are rampant and the story is about to hit US Weekly, which is like a Magic 8 Ball--almost always right!

Kimora is a total pink panther. I just made that word up. It's a diva on a power trip who you probably wouldn't want to mess with. Feel free to use it in a sentence today.

I hope you all caught VH1 Inside/Out with Kimora. I LOVE that show. Anyway, it proved what we all knew; she's one bitchy pink panther!

To The Soldiers

To the men in Hollywood who choose to date less attractive women than themselves...boo! Feel free to add to the list (PS this doesn't mean that I don't like these chicks. Mostly I don't, but Reese is ok).

Golf Never Looked So Good

Josh Duhamel is a beautiful, beautiful thing to look at. As long as he isn't with Trannie (aka Fergie). I attempt to make this photo of him at a celebrity golf tournament look like he was actually kissing a pic of me, but it didn't work, even as realistic as it should be.

Celeb Babies

While the Earth and surrounding galaxies await the any-day-now arrival of TomKitten, other celeb babies mug for the camera.

Violet Affleck lets mom hold her in an LA park while Apple Martin struts her stuff in NYC.

WTF: Mary Kate Olsen

Worth several hundred million and the Handsome Bum of Union Street dresses better. Here's MK shopping this week in NYC. Where was she shopping? I'm guessing dumpster diving behind Goodwill...

Hot Couple of the Minute: Teri Hatcher & Ryan Seacrest

This really makes me puke in my mouth. He looks like he is her gay son. She looks homeless. They clearly wanted to be seen together. Teri must be his paid beard!

God Help the Children

Jessica Simpson is working on adopting some children in the near future. Her publicist confirmed reports that she is "exploring adoption," and Jessica said she plans to adopt before she has any kids of her own.

Nick, however, has been recently spotted out and about with MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo, who not so long ago was dating Derek Jeter. Vanessa starred in Nick's new video about his breakup with Jessica.

Reunited and it Feels So Good

Jessica Simpson hits the shops in New Mexico where she is filming. She brings along her mom and...CaCee Corn Cobb! It's been so long since Jess has been photographed with BFF CaCee, I was so worried about them. Looks like all is right in the world.

PS, I was reading Jessica's interview in W this morning and read that her and CaCee have only been friends for a couple years when they met at Sony, where CaCee was plucked from a nobody into a life of being Jess's other lap dog. I should be so lucky!

Friends with $ Premiere

Jennifer Aniston stepped out for the premiere of her movie, "Friends with Money." Birthday boy Vince did not accompany her on the red carpet.

Mandy is Ready for the Ice Age

Mandy Moore is super bundled up as she shops in SoHo. The actress has recently put on some lbs. and is happy about it. She looks good to me, minus that outfit. And minus Wilmer...Zach Braff is such an upgrade!

Brit Brit at Ralphs

I've said it before and I'll say it again...I shopped at this place all the time and I never saw the cool stars! So unfair. Here's Brit Brit taking SPF and Felicia grocery shopping in Malibu. Nice to see she is wearing a bra and is a hands-on mom, in that order.

A Boy and His Package

Wilmer Valderrama was on Howard Stern's radio show yesterday to promote his gay new show "Yo Mamma." Among the things he discussed were his penis (8+ inches, he says) and all his Hollywood conquests. He stated that he took Mandy Moore's V card and has had sex with Jennifer Love Hewitt (8 out of 10), Lindsay Lohan (real boobies), and Ashlee Simpson (screamer...no surprise there). What is it about this guy? I don't see it...

Then they played my favorite game "F, Marry, Kill." Round 1 was Mandy, LiLo, and Jessica Alba. Bitch said he'd kill my ass, but only because I'm "too good to be true." He would F LiLo and marry Mandy. That sounds about right.

Source: DListed/CityRag

Rewinding the Clock: Tara Reid

Tara knows fashion like it was 1999. Her puffy pink coat and whole look in general sucks. This is her supposed new boyfriend escorting her on the right. They deserve each other.

Lady in Red

Brit Brit and Kevin partied in Atlanta last week. He was paid to make an appearance, which he did for one whole hour. The duo left just as Britney's song "Toxic" came on. Look at the photo of Britney holding her belly and drinking a water. I swear she is trying to confuse us all. Her hair is still fug, but her dress is nice.