Poor Kelly Osbourne! She looks special, but really isn't. Her albums have bombed. She's been in and out of rehab. She's a tragically bad dresser. And in a family that applauds plastic surgery, she won't jump on the only bandwagon that could save her.
And now, the cherry. She's been dumped. David Williams of the band "Son of Dork" (yes, I know it sounds like a promising match) has broken up with her because he "wasn't ready for a relationship". I believe this translates to "you are hideous and this publicity stunt must end before I eat a lightbulb like the Arquette on Grey's Anatomy".